I Sez

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What I sez about picking your wedding party

When you first get engaged, you want to tell everyone! Everyone wants to know the when, where, who, etc. But before you go asking people to be in your wedding, you should really sit down with your fiancé and make your decision carefully.

The most important thing when deciding who to ask, is determining their commitment to you. You want people in your wedding who have been and will be your friends for a long time to come. Asking these people is an honor. It's saying, "You have been there for me and for us and I want you part of this very important milestone in my life". If someone doesn't quite fit that description, you may not want them as a member of the actual bridal party. Often I hear brides say right before their wedding how they aren't on good terms with someone in the bridal party, or they hardly talk to them again after the wedding. It can be pretty hard (sometimes impossible) to foresee just who will be as big of a part of your future as they were in you past, but that's why its good to give plenty of thought into your decision.

Size of the wedding party
It's great to involve all of your friends but also keep in mind that big wedding parties aren't always the easiest to deal with. You will have to make sure all of them are on board with purchasing items for the wedding, getting fitted on time, and can make the rehearsal and wedding events without other conflicts. Big groups can also be hard to control when it comes time for photos and other full party activities.

Cost can also be another factor with large bridal parties. Most couples get their parties jewelry or gifts, bouquets for each bridesmaid, boutonnières for each groomsman, and transportation after the ceremony - multiple limos, large SUV limos or buses etc. All of that can add up quickly. If you are on a tight budget, consider keeping your wedding party small.

Symmetrical wedding parties?
It's not uncommon for the wedding party to be unbalanced in numbers. You can have more bridesmaids than groomsmen or vise versa. You can also have women stand on the groom's side or men stand on the women's side. It is your wedding; you don't have to be traditional or follow what everyone else has done.

Other wedding related duties
Do you have lots of other friends and family members who you would like to include in some way? Well there are lots of things people can do to help you out with your wedding. Readers, Candle Lighters, Ushers, Guestbook Attendants, Greeters, Gift Table Attendants, Personal Attendants, Wedding Day Coordinator, and Cake Cutters. Friends and family can help with the set up & decorating of the church and reception hall. If you have musically inclined friends, have them sing or play an instrument during the ceremony. Crafty or kitchen friendly people can help with decorations, invites, desserts, mints, etc. Or just let them come as a guest! Some people may really appreciate being able to just enjoy your day without the financial or time contributions they would have to make if they were part of the actual wedding party!

With most weddings being planned over the span of a year or more, you have lots of time! Don't rush it. Weddings are emotional and sometimes stressful. Surround yourself with those who love you and who you know will be there for you and you will keep a lot of the stress levels down once your big day arrives!

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